Summer Plans

This week marked our first week of summer vacation for the kiddos. I don't mind admitting that I was a bit worried about summer vacation. Keeping two children of different ages from being bored while being thrifty (an inherent part of myself I can't overcome) can be a bit challenging.

Our first week has gone surprisingly well, especially considering that it was a full moon week. As an aside, my children often turn from being nice, sweet kids (with an occasional meltdown) to full-on terrors during the full moon. Full moon week (it always seems to last a week) usually involves tantrums over the most minor things (Ellie once threw a fit because I put a tank top on her rather than a shirt with sleeves) and lots of shrieking. For whatever reason, the full moon did not bewitch my children as usual, for which I am profoundly grateful.



Our plans this summer do not include a formal family vacation. For one thing, Ellie is not a seasoned traveller, and I do not think anyone in our family should endure the shrieking that will occur should she be in her car seat more than her threshold of an hour and a half. She is also still in diapers, and a diaper full of sand does not appeal. We are saving Disney and the beach for the time in our life when diapers are no more than a distant memory, and for the time right before we become incurably stupid in the opinions of our offspring.

I do have lots of local plans for us, however. We became members of the Nashville Zoo, and I plan on us visiting the animals at least twice a month. We are members of the local, awesome, fabulous children's museum, and we will go to the Discovery Center so frequently that they may kick us out. We have invested in 2 sprinklers, a small wading pool, water guns and barrels of bubbles. Our official water play kickoff day is Memorial Day.



We are planning playdates with friends as that benefits both the kids and myself. The kids because they can play with friends, and myself because I can have an adult, albeit frequently interrupted, conversation. I can't wait to discuss things other than why Squidward is so mean to Spongebob, why lollipops at 8:00 am are not a good idea, and why barking at people (if you are not a dog) can net you funny stares.

My major and possibly slightly geeky plan is to visit every public park in Murfreesboro and quite possibly Rutherford County. The geeky part is that I plan on polling the kids (which playground had the most awesome play structure, which has the best shade, which playground offered the longest stretch of playtime for the kids before the boredom complaints set in) and then trying to quantify my results in some manner. I have a feeling that a spreadsheet and charts/graphs will be involved as well. I hope at the end of the summer to determine the Gardner Family's favorite area park. What I will then do with this information is unknown, but a little extra knowledge never hurt anyone.



The part of summer that I am most eagerly anticipating has nothing at all to do with my kids. At the end of July I am going to Texas for a long anticipated reunion of four college friends. Those four ladies, who I have not seen in a decade, were my sanity in college as well as the source of some of my spectacularly bad ideas (such as shooting Jack Daniels on a stomach full of cheap frozen pizzas). I can't wait to see them, catch up, and just enjoy some of the most fun people I know. So hurray for summer!

Memorials

During a recent bike ride around the Square, I noticed the various memorials on the Courthouse lawn. There are memorials to Confederate veterans, a more general memorial to those killed in battle; there is even a memorial marking the fact the Murfreesboro was the state capital for eight years in the early 1800s.

Memorials are meant to preserve the memory of a person, place, or an event. However, I think memorials say more about the living than the deceased does. Memorials show what a society values and respects. I think it is telling that while there are innumerable memorials around this country dedicated to the fallen veterans of the Civil War, World War I, and World War II, there are very few memorials dedicated solely to the veterans of Vietnam or the first Persian Gulf War.

I do not believe that my generation is comfortable with memorials or remembering those who have come before us. We have fought illness and death so successfully that the remembrance of death is an uncomfortable reminder that we have not entirely defeated death. We do not take part in Decoration Day activities.

I remember going to countless Decoration Days as a child and teenager. My father’s family has two family cemeteries (the exclusive Watson Cemetery and the more inclusive Conaster Cemetery, both located in rural Wilson County, Tennessee). As my mother’s family did not boast its own cemetery, we would go to various country church Decoration Days in Moore County, Tennessee.

Decoration Day was not a somber affair. People would bring food to share and spread the picnic on the ground. No one thought it strange to feast on fried chicken and banana pudding while sitting amongst the tombstones. In fact, the tombstones would lead to interesting conversations of the people with whom we were eating. The children would play tag and other games, hopping neatly over the graves. There would be a brief prayer and placing of new wreaths on the graves.

As I grew older, though, I stopped going to Decoration Day. I stopped going to the ones on my father’s side because there was always too much family drama, and it was exhausting trying to remember who was mad at whom, and whom we were not to speak to at the event. I only stopped going to the Decoration Day at Buckeye (where my mother’s parents and sister are buried) after college, when life got in the way of my attending the event. Since moving back to Tennessee, nearly three years ago, I have not attended any Decoration Day events nor have I taken my children.

A part of me misses the feeling of familial kinship that comes with Decoration Day. Even though my father’s family never made me feel welcome, there was a nice feeling to walk amongst my ancestors and hear stories about them. I never knew many of them, but some of them became very real to me during these events. I also miss seeing distant relatives you only see once a year.

However, like many in my generation, I have not felt the need for Decoration Day. I do not remember my beloved grandparents or aunts the less because I do not visit their gravesites. I remember them in different ways. I tell my children stories of my grandparents, and show their pictures to them. I make some of their favorite recipes. I see my grandfather’s cheekbones whenever I see my Aunt Bobbie, and I see my grandmother looking out of my mother’s face. The memorials I have for these beloved relatives are not tangible, but they are no less real for their intangibility. Perhaps it is the same for others of my generation. We do not erect public memorials because we carry the memories of our loved ones within our very pores.

Floods

As I am writing this, Murfreesboro (but mainly Nashville) is in the midst of a historic flood. I am writing this now mainly to record my thoughts on the situation as it unfolds.

The rain started Saturday, and except for brief windows, has not stopped. Some areas of the region have received as many as 20 inches in the last two days. Nashville has recorded record May rainfall, and it is only May 2nd. Here in Murfreesboro we have received roughly 10 inches in the last 2 days.

They are calling this a 500 year flood, and I would believe it. Parts of Nashville are flooding that have not flooded in recent memory. Mill Creek, which my parents live near, has flooded and gone over I-24, killing at least one person there. Parts of Bellevue are flooded. They are evacuating the guests and workers from Opryland Hotel, which has to be a logistical and public relations nightmare for the hotel.

For me, I have a hard time tearing myself away from the television. I think it was better when there was not 24/7 outlet to the news. Seeing the flood occur in real time is heartbreaking. Watching infants being evacuated makes me want to go hug my own babies. Watching parts of Antioch where I learned to drive, where I hung out with friends underwater breaks my heart. So many fond memories of Nashville are now tinged with the sadness of the flooding.

I worry about my parents, who live above Mill Creek. Luckily their street is located on a very high hill, so if they are totally flooded out it means that it is time to call out the arks and abandon all hope. They have water in their basement;there would be more water but they have worked tirelessly the last 24 hours, tyring to get out the water as soon as it comes in. The roads between us are closed, so we can't even get to them to assist in clean up, or to just offer solace as they deal with the cleanup of the flood waters.

I fear that when the rain finally stops and the waters recede (which I estimate won't happen until Tuesday) the devastation will be mind-numbing. So many homeowners in the area do not have flood insurance, as their homes are not located in flood plains. I worry about Antioch, where my parents live, and which has been struggling financially for some time. I fear this flood may be the death knell for Antioch. While I no longer live in Antioch, I would hate to see it die because of the flood.