For the last several months, I have been attending a twice weekly zumba class at my local gym. For the uninitiated, zumba is the grooviest exercise you will ever do. It is a mixture of Latin and hip-hop dance done to a mixture of Latin and hip-hop music. The ratio of Latin to hip hop depends upon the instructor. The instructor I favor leans a bit more heavily to hip-hop music, which is one of the many reasons I love this particular class.
I have always believed that I have no innate rhythm. If you were to observe me in zumba class you would reach the same conclusion. My body has never seemed to move in any coordinated fashion when dancing. Asking my arms and legs to do different things is like kryptonite - I end up just staring and figuring out how on earth bodies move that way. Yet in zumba I have found a part of myself that I did not know exist.
I realized recently that much of what I do in this life is in opposition to my mother. I love my mother dearly and think she is a wonderful lady; however, I seem to act contrary to what she would. She loves to dance, and won several dance contests as a young woman. When I was a young woman, you could not get me to dance or go to a dance. I think I went to a grand total of 3 dances in my teenage years, and 2 of those were prom (neither of which I danced at). Dance was my mom's thing, not mine. I had no interest in it or see any need for dance in my life. Once I realized that I was prejudiced against zumba for no logical reason, I decided to start going.
I have to admit the first time few times I went to zumba I had to talk myself into returning the next time. Some of the dances felt weird (well, all of the dances) and I felt like a huge idiot. Yet there was something that drew me in. For an hour at a time, I was someone else. I learned to stop paying attention to what I was doing and started just feeling the music and the beat. Not to say that I always find the beat, but I at least now know that a such thing as beats exist.
Now I go with no apologies and dance like the craziest, most uncoordinated girl out there. I could care less that I am a few beats behind everyone else and that the dance I am doing bears little relation to what the instructor intended. Zumba has become my time to be a different Leigh Ann. A Leigh Ann who dances for the sheer joy of it, even on the days that threaten to suck all the joy out of my soul. I become the girl who would have swayed her hips at the boys at the club, if I had ever been the club kind of girl. I forget for an hour all the worries, the stresses, the ordinariness of life. For a bit, life is colorful and exuberant and fresh. So I dance and embrace the Leigh Ann that zumba is teaching me to become.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Good Works
I have debated about writing this particular blog for several days now. I am afraid it will seem self-serving, and I do not want to emphasize any part of "self" in this. I think I am just going to jot this down, so to speak, so that I don't forget the feelings, etc. raised by the experience.
Last Thursday, I had the incredible privilege of helping out at The Journey Home for a bit. For those of you who may not now, The Journey Home is an organization that is trying to fill as many gaps as it can for the homeless and poor in our city. They have a small building on Castle Street, just around the bend from Cannonsburgh.
I could write reams about the work being done at this center and not touch on all the lives they are helping. There is a Community Cafe, where lunch is served 5 days a week to all comers. They have seats for 40 in the dining room, but have on occasion served over 3 times that number of people. There is a clothes closet for clients to go through, and a small computer lab for people to work on resumes and look for employment. The staff makes up food boxes (full of nonperishables) and distribute to those in need. There is a bread closet as well, open to all clients.
What amazed me the most about this place, apart from the amazing volunteers and the great sense of purpose one feels there, is the amount of unheralded community support that the center has received. Publix donates bread to them daily. Pizza Hut regularly donates pizza for the lunch they serve. Chef Wang's, my favorite local Chinese restaurant, does the Monday meal.
What amazed me about the local support is that I have never once heard of any of these businesses advertising what they do for the center. Not once have I seen self-serving pictures of meals being served by the Chef Wang's staff. Not once have I seen articles in the paper about Publix or Pizza Hut helping to feed the hungry in our community. The quiet nature of this support have disposed me quite favorably to these businesses.
I left the Center on Thursday feeling humbled by all that I have, compassion for those trying to find their way, and restored faith in business in this city.
To find out more about The Journey Home, go to http://www.murfreesboropost.com/filling-the-gaps-on-the-journey-home-cms-7637 to read an article in the Murfreesboro Post about the work of the center.
Last Thursday, I had the incredible privilege of helping out at The Journey Home for a bit. For those of you who may not now, The Journey Home is an organization that is trying to fill as many gaps as it can for the homeless and poor in our city. They have a small building on Castle Street, just around the bend from Cannonsburgh.
I could write reams about the work being done at this center and not touch on all the lives they are helping. There is a Community Cafe, where lunch is served 5 days a week to all comers. They have seats for 40 in the dining room, but have on occasion served over 3 times that number of people. There is a clothes closet for clients to go through, and a small computer lab for people to work on resumes and look for employment. The staff makes up food boxes (full of nonperishables) and distribute to those in need. There is a bread closet as well, open to all clients.
What amazed me the most about this place, apart from the amazing volunteers and the great sense of purpose one feels there, is the amount of unheralded community support that the center has received. Publix donates bread to them daily. Pizza Hut regularly donates pizza for the lunch they serve. Chef Wang's, my favorite local Chinese restaurant, does the Monday meal.
What amazed me about the local support is that I have never once heard of any of these businesses advertising what they do for the center. Not once have I seen self-serving pictures of meals being served by the Chef Wang's staff. Not once have I seen articles in the paper about Publix or Pizza Hut helping to feed the hungry in our community. The quiet nature of this support have disposed me quite favorably to these businesses.
I left the Center on Thursday feeling humbled by all that I have, compassion for those trying to find their way, and restored faith in business in this city.
To find out more about The Journey Home, go to http://www.murfreesboropost.com/filling-the-gaps-on-the-journey-home-cms-7637 to read an article in the Murfreesboro Post about the work of the center.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Lack of Vision
Proverbs 29:18 (KJV) states that "Where there is no vision, the people perish." This quote seems especially prophetic when dealing with Murfreesboro.
It is springtime, the time when the leaders in our fair city have decreed that the city elections should be held. Despite the fact that the last spring election had a voter turnout of 9%. Despite the fact it costs more to hold a separate city election than it would to hold the city election with the state primaries in August. Despite the fact it is easier for the incumbents to remain in power when only 9% of the qualified electorate bother to vote. Or perhaps that is the point.
One of the problems bedeviling Murfreesboro is a lack of vision for our city. It is shown in innumerous ways. Despite the fact Murfreesboro has grown to over 100,000 (some estimate our population will be 110,000 after the census), our leaders continue to act as if Murfreesboro was a small town. We continue to have "at-large" council representation, with 5 council-members representing the entire community. And while technically anyone in the city can run for office, most of the current council members live in the "newer" parts of town, not the older, "inner-city" section of the city in which I reside. Additionally, the power is held in this city largely by white men. While there is a person of color on the Council and a woman on the School Board, in a town of this size it is past time that minorities had larger representation in our local government.
While the city has actively encouraged growth in the "Gateway" section of the city, little thought has been given to maintaining the older sections of the city. Maney Avenue has suffered a drainage problem for years and only now is the money being allocated to alleviate the problem. I'm sure the business owners in that area would have been happy with one-tenth of the attention (or money) that the Gateway has attracted. And while the Greenway is wonderful (and used by many), I am sure the people living on Bradyville Pike would have appreciated sidewalks as they walk (the only means of transportation for many in that area) to work or to the store.
What this city needs is to seriously begin vision-casting. Responsible leaders need to step forward and start dreaming about what we want from our city in the future and the path we need to take to get there. Do we want to be a city that only attracts blue-collar jobs, or do we want to be more like Franklin, which attracts professional jobs? What do we need to do as a city to ensure that schools like Hobgood or Bradley do not become like Nashville's Cameron School, a school so troubled that it is being taken over by a charter school in the fall. How can we get more people involved (myself included) in the excellent work being done in this city by organizations such as The Journey Home, Greenhouse Ministries, and Rev. Marable's Second Chance Ministries? What can we do to eradicate the creeping gang violence? How can we show the gangs that we will not cede one iota of this city to their sway?
I think that the people in our city should also be involved in this process. Let a series of meetings be held all over the city, from Blackman to Siegel to Indian Hills to State Street. Let all voices be heard as people articulate where our city should be in 30, 40, 50 years. Let's work together and make this a city our children can be proud of. Perhaps in the process we can make this a city we ourselves our proud of.
It is springtime, the time when the leaders in our fair city have decreed that the city elections should be held. Despite the fact that the last spring election had a voter turnout of 9%. Despite the fact it costs more to hold a separate city election than it would to hold the city election with the state primaries in August. Despite the fact it is easier for the incumbents to remain in power when only 9% of the qualified electorate bother to vote. Or perhaps that is the point.
One of the problems bedeviling Murfreesboro is a lack of vision for our city. It is shown in innumerous ways. Despite the fact Murfreesboro has grown to over 100,000 (some estimate our population will be 110,000 after the census), our leaders continue to act as if Murfreesboro was a small town. We continue to have "at-large" council representation, with 5 council-members representing the entire community. And while technically anyone in the city can run for office, most of the current council members live in the "newer" parts of town, not the older, "inner-city" section of the city in which I reside. Additionally, the power is held in this city largely by white men. While there is a person of color on the Council and a woman on the School Board, in a town of this size it is past time that minorities had larger representation in our local government.
While the city has actively encouraged growth in the "Gateway" section of the city, little thought has been given to maintaining the older sections of the city. Maney Avenue has suffered a drainage problem for years and only now is the money being allocated to alleviate the problem. I'm sure the business owners in that area would have been happy with one-tenth of the attention (or money) that the Gateway has attracted. And while the Greenway is wonderful (and used by many), I am sure the people living on Bradyville Pike would have appreciated sidewalks as they walk (the only means of transportation for many in that area) to work or to the store.
What this city needs is to seriously begin vision-casting. Responsible leaders need to step forward and start dreaming about what we want from our city in the future and the path we need to take to get there. Do we want to be a city that only attracts blue-collar jobs, or do we want to be more like Franklin, which attracts professional jobs? What do we need to do as a city to ensure that schools like Hobgood or Bradley do not become like Nashville's Cameron School, a school so troubled that it is being taken over by a charter school in the fall. How can we get more people involved (myself included) in the excellent work being done in this city by organizations such as The Journey Home, Greenhouse Ministries, and Rev. Marable's Second Chance Ministries? What can we do to eradicate the creeping gang violence? How can we show the gangs that we will not cede one iota of this city to their sway?
I think that the people in our city should also be involved in this process. Let a series of meetings be held all over the city, from Blackman to Siegel to Indian Hills to State Street. Let all voices be heard as people articulate where our city should be in 30, 40, 50 years. Let's work together and make this a city our children can be proud of. Perhaps in the process we can make this a city we ourselves our proud of.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Stereotype
I have not been blogging/writing lately because it seems that life became crazy/hectic/busy. Also, Hardy stopped taking his afternoon nap (I guess 4 and a half years was as good as one could expect) so I now spend the afternoon with him, thus taking away my time to write.
I heard from MTSU yesterday and was admitted to the graduate program in History. I was not, however, awarded an assistantship, so attending graduate school at this time probably will not happen. I am incredibly saddened by this, as I realized (somewhat belatedly) that I love academia and was looking forward to being a full time student. I also was shocked because I felt with my grades and GRE scores that I would receive an assistantship.
So now I am in the position of being a stereotype. I feel a bit like the women Betty Friedan wrote in The Feminine Mystique back in 1963 (hard to imagine that some things have not changed in the intervening 47 years). While I love my children and my husband desperately, I feel the need for an identity beyond them. Something that depends solely on my own talents (whatever they may be) and abilities that go beyond how I parent my children or clean my house.
I do not feel that I made the wrong choice to stay home with my children. It has been an adventure, both good and bad, and I have learned much about myself over the last (almost) three years. I was just beginning, however, to feel the stirrings to do something different, to be something different. There is nothing wrong with being a housewife and mother. It is a great job and calling. However, I think I want to do something different.
The problem is the same problem that faces many other women. After being out of the workforce for several years, I feel as if I have no marketable job skills. My college major was not one that opens doors for jobs, and I have also not worked in that field in a decade. The last field I worked in (paralegal) I really did not like, and I do not want to be a paralegal ever again. So I am in the position that I feel like I want to do something more but I feel as if I have few options. I do not want to work just to work any job. I want something I love, that inspires me. Yet I am not sure at this point what that would be. So for now, I will remain at home, trying to bloom where I have been planted.
I heard from MTSU yesterday and was admitted to the graduate program in History. I was not, however, awarded an assistantship, so attending graduate school at this time probably will not happen. I am incredibly saddened by this, as I realized (somewhat belatedly) that I love academia and was looking forward to being a full time student. I also was shocked because I felt with my grades and GRE scores that I would receive an assistantship.
So now I am in the position of being a stereotype. I feel a bit like the women Betty Friedan wrote in The Feminine Mystique back in 1963 (hard to imagine that some things have not changed in the intervening 47 years). While I love my children and my husband desperately, I feel the need for an identity beyond them. Something that depends solely on my own talents (whatever they may be) and abilities that go beyond how I parent my children or clean my house.
I do not feel that I made the wrong choice to stay home with my children. It has been an adventure, both good and bad, and I have learned much about myself over the last (almost) three years. I was just beginning, however, to feel the stirrings to do something different, to be something different. There is nothing wrong with being a housewife and mother. It is a great job and calling. However, I think I want to do something different.
The problem is the same problem that faces many other women. After being out of the workforce for several years, I feel as if I have no marketable job skills. My college major was not one that opens doors for jobs, and I have also not worked in that field in a decade. The last field I worked in (paralegal) I really did not like, and I do not want to be a paralegal ever again. So I am in the position that I feel like I want to do something more but I feel as if I have few options. I do not want to work just to work any job. I want something I love, that inspires me. Yet I am not sure at this point what that would be. So for now, I will remain at home, trying to bloom where I have been planted.
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