The lady I am talking about is my sweet grandmother, Esther Mae Ward Hardy. My mother's mother, I only knew her as a sweet old lady. My mother is the youngest of six, and was born when her mother, Esther, was 37. My grandmother was a remarkable woman, not for her educational attainments or professional successes, but because of the force of her personality. Even today, more than 20 years after her death, all those who were fortunate enough to know her remember her fondly.
My grandmother was born in 1912 in Moore County, Tennessee. Her family was poor; in order to earn extra money for the family, she would drive another girl to school (a very wealthy girl, at least for that area) in a horse and buggy. She married at 14 to my grandfather. They struggled for many years - they sharecropped, tried anything to support their family. At one point, in 1929, as the Depression began, she and my grandfather, along with their baby, boarded a train for Detroit, Michigan, in hopes of finding a better life. Whatever they were searching for, they did not find it there, as they shortly returned back to Tennessee for good. She did what she could to help support her family - working as a cook at a girls' school, making butter.
In all their trials and tribulations, no one could ever remember my grandmother uttering a harsh word. She was known for always seeing the good in people, for not gossiping. You could take the meanest person you know, and she would see only how sweet they were to their mother. It is not that she was blind to their faults - it is that she loved them in spite of their faults. To me, she exemplified Christ-like love more than any person I know.
She also loved to cook, and to show her love through food. Of course, this meant the food that tastes amazing, but you probably should not eat. (As an aside, we never say that a person is showing their love for you when they give you salad - wonder why that is.) Whenever she knew my father was coming for lunch, she would hasten to make his favorites- turnip greens and homemade banana pudding. She would try to make my favorites as well - chicken and dumplings and tea cakes. Once, when I was visiting in the summer, she realized she had no special cookies for me. So she whipped up a batch of homemade cupcakes with thick fudge frosting. She did this in order to let you know that you mattered, that she was glad you were at her house.
She was a member of the Methodist church for almost 70 years. I cannot even fathom being the member of anything for that long. She read her Bible nightly, reading it out loud to my grandfather once he lost his sight. She prayed nightly, and her faith never wavered, even in the midst of severe family trials that would have shaken the faith of any person. She always held out hope that God would somehow provide - we might not see how, but we could rest assured that God knew, and that was all that mattered.
In the eyes of the world, my grandmother was not a very successful person. But in my eyes, she is the woman I want to be. Despite a lack of formal education beyond the eighth grade, she was intelligent enough to love people as they are, to accept them as they are. She embodied grace and acceptance. She taught me how to work hard, and how there is no shame in hard work, as long as it helps you support yourself and your family. She taught me to love others and to seek to make them feel special and loved. I hope one day that as many people were positively affected by me as by my grandmother.
I think you are well on your way, Leigh Ann! :)
ReplyDelete- Amanda M.