School Tour

Today was a big day in the Gardner household. Today I took Hardy for a school tour of a potential school. It's Discovery School, a pretty nice magnet school here in Murfreesboro.

To be honest, I have no way of knowing if Hardy is magnet school material. He's my baby, so of course I think he is brilliant. But I am self-aware and know that the world in general, particularly academic administrators, may not agree with me. But I see no harm in having him tested and seeing what becomes of it. If he does not meet the criteria I will not be curling up into the fetal position.

The school seemed marvelous, but I don't think you can ever know how great a school is until your child is attending the school. Some marvelous schools have lousy teachers, and some great teachers may not have the right chemistry with your child. I was impressed that there is an art studio there, and that all kids go and have art classes there. The school also boasts a science laboratory (that made a humanities loving person such as myself want to do experiments) and a band room (for the older kids). They offer theater classes and Chinese (how cool is that!) lessons. There are also enrichment classes every kid can take on Wednesday afternoons. Best yet, the tour was conducted by student ambassadors, so we had a chance to see the school from their perspective. It was a wonderful experience.



While walking through the school, I kept wondering where all the time had gone. I know it is cliche, but I really feel I just brought Hardy home from the hospital. I can't believe he is now 4 1/2 and we are planning for kindergarten (which would start in July if he gets into this school). Seeing him in this academic setting made me see my boy with fresh eyes. He's not my baby anymore - he's a child who's ready for kindergarten. He's even already planning which backpack he should take, and what he will pack.



Watching him begin to reach out for the experiences that will ultimately take him away from me fills me with conflicting emotions. On the one hand, I am proud that he is ready to go and start a new adventure. He thinks kindergarten (and being a big kid) is going to be great, filled with lots of fun things (of course, this is the attitude I am trying to foster with him). I feel maybe we are not doing too bad if he feels secure enough to separate himself, to start the process of being his own person. The other emotion I feel is pain. It hurts to know that the time is coming when I won't be the most important person in his life. That he is about to begin facing things that I cannot help him with. That he may be subject to, or see, bullying (which mercifully has not occurred yet). That he is going to encounter kids who do not like him and who will never like him. That he may encounter children who tease him or pick on him or in other ways try to make him miserable.

I want to be there like the mama lion, standing between him and those who would harm him. However, I know that in the long run this does Hardy no favors. If he is going to learn to be an adult in this life, he has to learn to deal with people, even difficult, icky people. He will have to learn to cope and to find inner strength. In short, he will begin to develop his character. I know that it won't be only the potentially bad experiences that help him develop character. But it seems to be the bad experiences that we label as character building. I don't recall anyone ever telling me that making good grades was good for my character.



So today I saw the beginning of a new era. I saw my son make tentative first steps to becoming a big kid. Part of me is in shock that he has managed to survive our parenting for so long, while the other part of me is proud of the little kid he has turned out to be. I think I saw in the tour the beginnings of the next chapter of his life, and I can't wait to see what this chapter brings.